Twenty
by rainbow muffinman
Summary: Twenty years of Mello's life. And he began to realize there was more to his life than just him getting what he wants. Written for Mello's birthday 13/12/2009


**Twenty**

December 1st 2009

Mello sighed heavily. His new apartment in Tokyo was nothing but decent. The lights were dim, the wallpapers were peeling and moldy, the carpets were soggy, and the ceiling has holes in it. It was nothing compared to the mafia headquarters that he blew up months ago, but it's the only thing he has.

Right now he was waiting for Matt to come, bringing his belongings along. And that son of a bitch took a long time too. Five hours has passed, and he still didn't show up. The last thing he heard from him was the plane got delayed. And he was worried if somehow Matt's been captured, or worse, killed.

So he took out his cell phone and began dialing a number he remembered. The number to a person that got him in the mafia. His prodigy, Shore.

Shore was raised in Whammy's House, just like him. But he was younger. When he was young the boy looked up to him, as he was one of the most respectable children in the orphanage. He remembered sticking up to the kid when he was bullied, so it was natural that Shore felt grateful.

He wasn't in the top three, but his charm was useful at times. He recommended him to Ross, telling him if he could gain respect from the older man he'd be a nice pawn to use.

And he was asking for favor again to the younger boy. Perhaps he could help him with this one. Getting help these days were difficult.

"_Hello? Who is this?_" an accented voice called out.

"Shore. It's me, M."

"_Mello? How did you survived from that explosion?_"

"Long story. Listen, could you help me out? I'm in Japan."

"_Sure thing. Anything for you Mells._"

He hung up the phone. That kid still respects him. And one day he was going to pay his respects, just like now.

On the other side of the line, Shore was nervous. Mello had called him and probably it was something related to the Kira case. In other words, he's going to sign his death wish.

"Shore? Who called?"

Arc, or A, as she preferred to be called with, was his friend during the Whammy years. She stayed with him through ups and downs, and it was no surprise to everyone else that they became lovers. Only sometimes she gets pissed off and made him sleep on the couch.

"'S nothing. Go back to sleep, I kept you awake last night."

Unfortunately, she was being stubborn about it again. Coming out from the room, wearing a t-shirt and a pair of shorts, she strode across the room and wrapped her arms around his neck.

"C'mon. Who called?"

"Mello." He answered simply.

Her hazel eyes widen in disbelief as she released her grip on his neck. She let it slid down her sides as her gaze shifted down.

"I thought he was dead." She murmured.

He shook his head and carefully placed a hand on her shoulder. She had a hatred towards Mello, since the blond liked bossing her boyfriend around. And she strongly disliked it when anyone forced him to do something he didn't want.

"I thought we could live a happy life, like any normal family would. I thought we'd get married and have kids. I thought we could be together." She hissed the last word as she slapped his hand away.

"A, it doesn't change anything. We could still be happy, we could-"

"But it _does_! He's going to take you away from me, he's going to be the reason to your death. Oh Sam. Since when'd you become this blind?"

Shore flinched at the use of his name. But said nothing. Instead he fiddles with his thumb in his lap.

"He needs me. He needs us. He wants us to help him catch Kira, and bring him to justice,"

"But he can accomplish that by working with Near! It's his stupid pride that gets in the way."

A sighed and leaned to her seat, shifting to bury her head in it. He heard muffled sobs, and felt guilty. He leaned closer and stroked her flaming red hair with his hand.

"I won't join in his plans directly. I won't take any chances of getting killed."

He heard a small voice said "Promise?" and he chuckled as he pulled the girl closer to him.

December 7th 2009

Mello tapped furiously on the table. Boredom was eating him alive. He sent Matt out to keep a close eye on Misa Amane again. And Shore still hasn't arrived yet. He didn't get any info on Kira, but he might if he called Lidner…

The chance is she won't tell him anything. And they were miles, and miles apart, so threatening to shoot her was crossed out. But maybe, with a little small talk, and a bit of flattery might help him.

He smirked as he flipped his cell open and dialed her number.

"_Lidner speaking_."

He smiled. Time to put his plan in action.

"Halle. How are you?"

Unbeknownst to him, Near was in the room. Halle had offered to stay in the HQ to keep an eye on the albino, since Rester was out. A buzz from her phone woke her up from her daydream, and now Near was looking at her with wide eyes.

"Agent Lidner, please answer your phone."

She did what she was told and pressed the small green button.

"Lidner speaking."

"_Halle. How are you_?" a smooth voice called out.

She mouthed Mello to Near and he nodded. Standing up, he grabbed one of the headsets and placed it around his head.

_So he's going to listen to our conversation_, Halle thought.

"Mello. I didn't expect you to call."

A chuckle. "_I_ _missed you. Can I expect a warmer greeting_?"

_He missed me?_ Halle shook her head and focused.

"Well, let's just cut to the point. What do you want?"

"_We both know what I want_."

_Information_, she answered silently. She looked at Near square in the eye, asking for permission to reveal what she knows. He turned away and twirled a lock of ivory hair. She took this as an affirmative.

"We're heading to Japan. Near suspects Kira is there."

"_How? With Kiyomi Takada chosen as Kira's spokesperson?_"

"Yes. And the majority of the criminals killed are in Japan."

"I see."

He said nothing more. Near nodded in understanding. His lips curved to form a small smile. Halle could see the gears in his head turning.

Suddenly he said, "Ask him how he is doing."

She nodded and followed the order.

"And how is your investigation doing?"

She heard silence from the other line. As if Mello needs time to think.

"_It's fine_." He said with a cold tone

"And yourself?"

"_I'm_ _**fine**__. Goddamn it, woman, can you mind your own business_?"

Near's eyes lit up in humor as he mouthed to her to end the call.

"Well I must be going. Near's keeping us work overtime."

"_Sure. Bye_."

And he hung up without any hesitance.

Near stood up and sat down once more on the floor. She watched him as he placed his Lego toys in order.

"It seems that my rival is receiving a dead end. And I presume he is in Japan."

She could only nod in response.

December 13th 2009

Snow was falling outside on the Tokyo streets. Mello shift uncomfortably in his seat as he pulled a knee to his chest. Matt sat across him, in his hand a lit cigarette. He held it to his lips occasionally.

Twenty. He's twenty now and he felt like nothing changed.

Maybe he looked older. With some frowns creasing and he didn't want that. Maybe he's smarter now, wiser. Though he doubts he'll be able to outsmart Near, seeing the kid was a natural born genius.

He was bored again, keeping track on the screen was a strain to his eyes. And the lighting in the room was not helping either. How could Matt stand hours in front of that plasma screen was a mystery to him. But then again, he didn't know much about the third rank Whammy child.

"Hey Mello, why don't you train Shore? He's gonna need survival skills if he wants to stay alive like you."

He gazed at the younger boy lazily. But he was right, Shore can't even fight when he's pressured, how was he supposed to stay alive protecting Mello?

So he went out and trained the dark haired boy. Hard.

Night has fallen and Mello came home exhausted. The kid was a hell to train. Sometimes he felt like he can't restrain himself from hitting the long haired brunet. But it was hard, him being a pussy about it.

He grumbled as he made his way to the kitchen to find some chocolate. The first thing he saw was Matt, eating his chocolate. Rage was building up inside him and he stomped his way to the brunet.

Matt laughed and took a step back, aware of Mello's anger towards him. But hey, he was the birthday boy, and he needs to chill off sometimes.

"C'mon Mells. It's nothing, really. Don't get mad at me."

The blond keeps throwing him dirty looks.

"Besides, you're twenty now! Not ten. Grow up."

A look in Mello's eyes told him he should run _now_. If he values his life.

"Don't tell me what to do, you fucking bastard."

This time, Matt did run for his life.

After giving Matt a nice beating, he sat comfortably in his couch. Matt had an ice of bag on his head, after being pounced by Mello. He sat across the blond; his feet perched on the coffee table.

The doorbell rang and he glared at Matt, gesturing him to open the door. Matt shuffled his feet lazily as he searched his pocket for his Nintendo DS.

"Oi Mello, looks like you got gifts."

Mello lifted an eyebrow and walked over to where Matt was. In his hands, besides his DS, were two nicely wrapped gifts. And a small letter which on front was written, with neat, curvy handwriting, 'to M'. He opened the envelope, and read a piece of paper, written with the same handwriting.

'Mello. Happy 20th birthday. N.'

He blinked. It doesn't take him two seconds to figure out it was Near. And the fact that he still remembered his birthday is touching.

"Mello? Are you going to open it or not?"

He nodded and took the boxes from Matt's hands.

Later he slept with a new rosary hanging on his neck, and holding a puzzle piece with an 'N' written on it.

December 19th 2009

After the move Near felt there was a need to tighten the security of the HQ. So a new system was used, courtesy of Rester's 'connections'. Simply one of the best in the world. It was foolproof, designed so no one could get in without permission.

So it amazed him when Matt entered, walking confidently to the work room. How the brunet could hack the system was out of his mind.

Another bigger question: how did Matt know where he is?

"Hey Near." The older boy said, smiling as he stood in front of him.

He refused to look up, no matter how much he wants to. There was something he was looking for, and Near's not going to give it to him.

A sound of rubber slapping against skin made him realize Matt was pulling his goggles off. A rarity to him. He never let anyone see his sky blue eyes, not even Mello. He once told Near that he was the first to know the color of his eyes, six years ago, back when they were at Whammy's.

Matt was one of the kids who tried to befriend him. Tried, as the keyword. But Near began to feel an attachment to the brunet. And so he felt hurt when Matt stopped visiting his room in the afternoon. He missed his loud chatters, the sound of his Gameboy beeping. He used to come and talk to him about everything, and he'd listen as he finished his puzzle.

Matt helped him the first time he tried the L puzzle.

It was hard. And the rain pounded on the glass windows so hard he could barely concentrate. It was one of the afternoons when Matt decided to hang with him. Thunder struck, and he froze.

Matt noticed the absence of the clacking pieces of the puzzle. And crawled closer to him and helped him finish it. It took them a few tries, but in the end it was finished.

Now the L puzzle was long forgotten in the corner of his room and so was their friendship.

"Near. Look at me."

He reluctantly lifted his gaze to meet his. Blue meets gray. Matt smiled an honest smile.

"Good. Now I'm not here just for chit chat. I want to talk to you about Mello."

Near's gaze grew cold. "What about him?"

"Can you help him out, or anything? I'm worried about him. He goes on a rant about something, then calms down and passed out. I think he's pretty stressed about this thing."

Near watched the older boy closely. Observing his eyes, and the emotions pooling up inside. Then he turned away.

"There's nothing I can do Matt."

This obviously struck a chord to the older boy. His cornflower eyes changed to ice blue. He narrowed his gaze and stared at the albino intensely.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, even if there was something I could do, he wouldn't accept it. It'll hurt his pride to accept help from me."

Matt snorted, and crouched so he's on the same level as the boy is.

"That's bullshit. He accepted your gifts. He still wears that damn rosary you gave. Sometimes he held that puzzle piece in comfort."

He paused, as if to find words to say.

"The Near I knew wouldn't be so pessimistic about it."

Near was startled. Who the hell did he think he is?

"Matt. You don't know me."

"I know you. I know the real you. The one's hidden under that emotionless face."

To be told, Matt thinks Near is beautiful. He's far too perfect to be human. Soft, weak, like a porcelain doll. So it surprised him when he hears the young boy laughs, or cried. Showing that he was human after all. But he always treated the younger boy like he was fragile, every little things he said or does, he did it carefully. As he didn't want to hurt him. But he didn't know, under that mask Near was already broken as it is. He's broken when Matt avoids him. It's a shame Matt doesn't see it that way.

And Matt didn't even know why he did it. Perhaps as a result of spending time with the young boy he began to feel attached. And he never feels attached to anything, not even his games. Or perhaps it was him, feeling he was too outgoing for his own good. Afraid to hurt him through his words, or gestures.

It stung when the younger boy said he didn't know him. Because he _knows_ and Near's the one that locked himself away under that façade.

He took a deep breath and placed both hands on the boy's shoulder.

"Near. Look at me. Do you consider me as your friend?"

Near was caught off guard with that question. It's like everything's falling apart and coming to this. And he failed to predict this coming. He wanted to say yes so bad, but the word never left his lips. It lingered like the scent of summer in the air when the first leaves of autumn fell.

"…No."

Matt stood away, eyes showing hurt in them. He truly felt hurt by his response. And he was beginning to understand why Mello hates him so much.

"You, you're a coward. You lied."

Near stared at the cold glossy floor, that reflected his reflection. And what did he see? A boy with no hopes and dreams. Pathetic.

"You lied Near. You _never_ lied to me before…" he trailed off.

Silence fell. And it grew as Matt left the room silently. Now Near was alone once more. But he felt lonelier than he ever was.

December 25th 2009

Christmas. And Mello spent his time moping. The day didn't hold the same warmth it did before.

When he was at Whammy's he felt happy, spending time with people he knew and loved. He didn't hit anyone, not even Near. And all they had was each other.

But now he was alone. Except for Matt and Shore. But he was still lonely. He sat on the chair, his cheeks sticking to the window pane. Christmas has never been this worse. His fingers unconsciously found their way to the rosary, fiddling it gently. A gift from Near, he smiled sadly. He took a deep breath, maybe today wasn't going to be so bad after all.

Matt watched the older boy sunk into the wave of melancholy. He too felt under the weather. After the encounter with Near he did nothing but stare blankly at the screen.

Shore, on the other hand was fidgeting visibly. A must hate Mello more now, that he forced him to work during the holidays. He was disappointed too. He thought about a nice romantic dinner for the two of them, and maybe a warm cuddling session in front of the fire. But no, someone had to made him stay, freezing his ass off. He was feeling more disrespectful to the scarred blond.

"Go." Shore lifted his head to see Matt talking to him. It's hard to know when he's talking to you, seeing as his eyes were covered behind his orange tinted goggles and bangs.

"You got a girlfriend right? I'll cover for ya."

He nodded and quickly gathered his things. Casting a quick glance at Mello, who was now lost in his thoughts, he closed the door and left. A will be pleased to see him.

Matt watched the long haired boy left. Then he grabbed his pack of cigars on the bedside table and lit it, while watching Mello's reaction.

Mello noticed the scent of smoke in the air, and was furious when he saw Matt lighting his cancer stick.

"What the fuck do you think you're doing?"

"Smoking. I'm stressed Mells. I need a break."

"Oh yeah? Don't you know I feel the same way, and I don't cry about it."

Matt sighed and looked around.

"Mello, I missed Whammy's."

Mello nodded and returned his gaze to the snow. It reminds him of Near, of Whammy grounds, of the snowball fights he had with the boys. It reminds him of innocence.

So he stood up, and stalked off to where Matt was slouching. And hugged him. A warm hug, that reminds him of the hugs kids in Whammy's House used to share. And Matt hugged back. Because he knew they both need this more than anything. Just an old apartment, and the two of them. What do they really have beside each other?

Outside, a tall man with dark hair pulled something out from his suit and placed it carefully on Mello and Matt's doorstep. He didn't know why his boss would spend money on people who obviously didn't care about him, but he didn't dare to question his generosity.

That night two presents with silver wrapping, and a card that said 'N' were opened by two souls who finally let go of their worries for the night.

December 31st 2009/ January 1st 2009

Mello was woken up by the sound of his phone ringing. He picked it up quickly, not wanting to disturb his friend, who was snoring loudly on the couch across him.

He checked the caller ID first.

Unknown number, could this be…

"_Mello_."

"Lidner. Nice surprise. Is there something you'd like to tell me?"

They rarely made contact anymore, and Mello knows it's because she's been hired as Takada's bodyguard. A job that was risky, seeing how this means Near's letting himself known to his enemies.

"_We're planning to take Misa Amane and Kanzo Mogi hostage_."

He nodded. He knows it's useless, because the Japanese girl seemed too innocent to be the Second Kira. He and Matt had previously come to the conclusion she let go her ownership of the death note.

"Okay. Is there anything else?"

"_Near says happy new year. Tell that to Matt too. And he says he's sorry, to Matt again_."

Sorry? Since when Near's been sorry for anything? And apologizing to Matt? What for? There's a lot of questions he's going to ask when the brunet wakes up.

And why does Near letting him tell his apology to Matt? Is this some kind of a screw up to mess with his mind so he could forget the Kira case for a while?

"Did he tell why?"

"_Matt visited HQ almost two weeks ago. I don't know what they're talking about but perhaps they had a disagreement. Near looked more depressed recently, and I'm guessing it's because of him._"

He glanced at the sleeping figure in striped shirt and jeans across him. His suspicions are getting stronger, and stronger.

"Okay. I'll tell Matt about it, just because he's depressed too. But that son of a bitch better not be crossing me."

"_I'm sure he won't Mello. Goodbye_."

He slammed the phone. Anger rose inside him. He decided to find some other things to do. So as he went out and looked around, to find Shore was missing, was another point to his now furious state.

"Hey, don't do that! You'll ruin the cake!"

A giggled as she licked her cream-filled fingers happily, scooting away from Shore who was now glaring at her.

"That's what you get for coming home late on Christmas." She smirked, stood up and went to the fireplace, sitting cross-legged in front of it.

Shore eyed his girlfriend annoyingly. She could be pretty silly sometimes.

"Sit down! I got you some new pack of cards."

His emerald eyes flashed with excitement as he quickly placed himself near the redhead. He loved cards. He held a certain fixation towards them. Often he found himself making castles from them, or shuffling them when he's nervous. When he's angry, however, he'd burn them. Seeing the face of kings and queens burn strangely feels comforting. He shuffled the deck and began placing them on the floor.

A stared at him lazily, fingers often played with the cards he hasn't touched. Shore didn't know what she's thinking, but he hoped it's nothing serious.

Voices echoed from outside. They both turned their heads to see people counting down to New Year.

'_Ten,_'

'_Nine,_'

They stood up and held hands, counting along in whispers.

'_Eight,_'

'_Seven,_'

"Mells! They're on seven now! Six!" Matt chirped happily. Hearing an apology from Near, via Mello made his day. The frown on his face was turned upside down. And Mello didn't question him on anything, although he might the next day.

'_Five_'

"Five!" he said, blue eyes lighting up. Mello didn't look as happy as he was. Instead he stared off to nowhere, sitting on the floor with a chocolate bar in his hands.

'_Four_'

"Four!"

Matt can't help but wonder what Near is doing now.

"Three," The teenager said calmly. The SPK members chorused along in the same leveled voice, an undertone to their excitement.

Misa Amane was taken without any problems. Mogi had cooperated with them, and they appreciated the man for it. But now the hostages were the least of their problems as they counted seconds to midnight.

"_Two_,"

"_One_."

The whole world celebrated the coming of 2010. And they embraced the year of Kira.

Life would never be the same after this.

January 24th 2010

Weeks had passed since Mello and Halle's last conversation. Many things were left unsaid or forgotten from Mello's mind. But he didn't care. He was getting closer to solving the Kira case.

Matt went out to buy some cigars and chocolates for Mello. And Shore was taking over his job for today. Mello had planned for the boy to take over the case if something happens to him and Matt, and the three of them knew the young boy was technically second in command. So the blond prepared him, and his plans to work.

A ring from the telephone snapped him back to focus. He sat up, intending to answer it, but Shore had picked it up instead.

"_Mello. It's me again_." A familiar female voice called out.

Shore lifted his eyebrow and handed the telephone to Mello, who was standing beside him.

"_Mello?_"

"Lidner. Is there something you'd like to say?"

"_Near's planning to meet with L to, discuss something regarding the Kira case_."

Discuss. As in, meeting? Near's going to strike and he had to do something about it before it's too late. Before the boy catches up with him and captures Kira first.

"Why the sudden change?"

"_We got a hold of the notebook from one of the people Near suspected as X-Kira. One of our members are making a copy of it as we speak._"

A copy… interesting, he thought to himself. Shore glanced at him from his work.

"Did you see any shinigami?"

"_For unknown reasons, no_."

His head began to think of the reasons why. Maybe the shinigami was hiding? Or was it loyal to its previous owner? Or maybe the notebook; was it fake?

The previous reasons didn't make any sense to him. So the last option was sure to be it. Shit. Didn't Near think of that?

"When will the meeting occur?"

"_Perhaps he's going to set it on the 28__th__. I don't know when exactly, he hasn't said anything. All I know he's going to let X-Kira write our names on the notebook, the altered one of course. And the one whose name is not written is Kira._"

A click. He found some light to this problem.

"He's going to make him write your names in the notebook…"

"_Yes…_"

He sighed and took a deep breath. It was now or never.

"Well then. I guess I have to do it."

Silence resounded. Mello put down the receiver gently before staring down to the floor.

"Shore, I'll need you to do something for me. But call Matt first, I don't want to tell this twice."

Shore nodded, although inside he was beginning to feel scared.

January 25th 2009

After going through the list of possible things he's going to do Mello finally made a decision. He's going to capture Kira's spokesperson, Takada, and make her spill the beans to him about the whereabouts of X-Kira and the identity of Kira himself. Of course doing such thing would be considered suicide.

Matt had decided to help, saying that "car chases are fun" with a wide grin on his face. And yes, he's being serious about it.

Shore was ordered to stay in the apartment and keep an eye on the news. In case both M goes down in flames, he's going to take over.

Despite everything, all three of them prepared themselves. This was probably their last day. And there was a million things they haven't done and another million they wish they had or hadn't done.

All three of them were now sitting in circle in the kitchen. Matt smoking his cigarettes while thumbs pressing buttons on his Gameboy, Shore shuffling his card nervously while glancing at the clock every twenty minutes, and Mello chomping off his third chocolate bar.

Matt grew bored of his game and turned it off. Pocketing it in the pocket of his jeans he turned to Mello and asked him permission to go off and see Near. Mello grumbled in response and Matt left happily. Shore looked at him, trying to get off the hook like Matt did, but Mello snapped at him.

"You're assigned to take over and suddenly you can do anything? Do I need to remind you who's boss?"

Shore smiled sheepishly and returned to shuffling his cards.

"Near, you have a visitor."

Near didn't bother to look at Rester. Instead he turned his head to one of the surveillance screen, showing a figure of a brunet wearing goggles and a fur vest over his striped shirt.

"Let him in."

Matt walked in with an air of confidence. He felt happy, truly happy that he was going to see Near again. Although it was for goodbyes, at least he gets to see his friend once more.

The first thing he saw was Near curled up into a ball, eyes closed, in the middle of a toy oasis. He chuckled and crouched, hovering above the small albino.

"Psst, Near."

Near opened his eye and found himself staring at Matt's blue eyes. He sat up and twirled a lock of his hair.

"What are you doing here?"

Matt smiled and sat down, legs stretched out.

"I just want to talk."

Near was silent. After a few moments Matt breaks out.

"Why'd you do that?"

He gestured to Near's hand that was now softly grasping a lock of ivory hair.

"I suppose it is comforting." Near said calmly.

Matt then lifted his hand up and patted Near's head lightly. His hair was soft, fluffy, and white. He could've sworn he was touching a lamb's fur right now. He ran his hand through his hair, and his other hand grasped Near's hand gently, pulling it away.

"Hey, do you know anything about Mello right now?"

Near shook his head, and leaned to his touch.

"He's going to plan something tomorrow. Something big."

"Like what?" Near murmured.

Matt grinned and leaned in closer and whispered to his ear.

"That's for me to know and you to find out."

Near narrowed his eyes at the brunet, whose grin was still etched on his face. He pulled away and turned his back on him, opting to play with his finger puppets instead.

Matt's grin turned into a frown as he saw the boy pulling away from him. He scooted closer until he was sitting behind the albino, who was now playing with his finger puppets. Noticing the absence of his figure, he frowned deeper.

"Why don't I have a finger puppet?"

Near's lips curved into a small smile. Of course, hidden from Matt.

"Because I don't think you'll look pretty along with the rest of them."

"Pretty? I'm handsome! Even more than Mello. Everyone says so."

"But you're too special for that."

Matt chuckled as he positioned himself beside Near.

"Anyways, thanks for everything. It means a lot to me."

Near turned and stared at him, grey eyes widen in confusion.

"What makes you say that?"

Matt smiled sadly as he stood up and turned away. Stepping towards the door, he turned to see Near still staring at him incredulously.

"You'll remember me, right?" he asked softly as he lit a cigarette and held it to his lips.

Near didn't approve of Matt smoking, but the scent of it was the last thing he remembered from Matt before the older boy left the room.

Shore had passed out, hands on the counter and his head resting on them. And Matt still hasn't come back. Mello looked at the clock, ticking. Every second passed he seemed to feel more and more anxious.

Matt… and Near. They were friends and he never noticed. He just realized how much Near meant to Matt if he was the first person Matt wanted to see before his suicide attempt. And now he was taking him away.

He felt guilty. He felt it was unfair. That he had to sacrifice his life, and brought down his fellow comrade along with him, while Near can just sit back and watch it all falls apart. He felt a pang of regret, hoping he was back to when he was that angry fourteen year old and to just shut up and accept Roger's suggestion to work together with Near as L.

But he's twenty now and it's been years. Near probably would look down upon him. L would probably think he's a coward.

So he grabbed a piece of paper and pen, and began writing his last words. Praying that Shore would get the clue and hand this note to whom it may concerns.

January 26th 2010

Mello could feel his stomach doing flips inside them. He was only three blocks away from the NHN building, waiting for Takada to arrive and Matt to create a distraction. His heart pounded loudly in his chest, and he's not going to back out any longer. They went this far and there's nothing else to lose.

So when he saw a puff of smoke coming out from the building's parking lot he sped up and prayed to God he'd succeed.

Halle Lidner was scared. If something happens to Takada who knows what Kira might do to her. And the fact that she knew the perpetrator, and he was close to Near _and_ Mello was not helping. If anything, when he'd get caught it'll be traced back to those two. Right now she was assisting Takada back to the building.

"Don't do it." She turned around.

A man, in leather, with a scar visible on the left side of his face. He looked very determined.

"Take a look around. It's not safer in here. Not even inside."

Mello.

_Mello._

Near's going to be so pissed off about this.

"It's best if you get away from here right now. Miss Takada, get on! Now!"

She could see where this is heading, and she decided to go along with his plans.

"It's okay. You'll be safe with him. Please, you have to go."

Takada went to Mello's side and hopped on the motorcycle.

_I hope they're not doing anything drastic_, she thought.

She pulled out her cell phone and warned the rest of the guards.

"Team A and team B! Stay on that bike's tail and _don't_ lose sight of them. And for the rest of you, I need you to find that assailant."

Mello drove off, with Takada clutching his waist close, as if not wanting to fall off. The cars were on their sides, and he took a turn left to a small alley. They lost sight of them.

He fumbled with something before letting out a pair of handcuffs and chained her with him.

"Wh- what are you doing?" she shrieked.

He smirked. That should hold her for a while.

Matt could feel the tension building up inside him. And he blamed himself for feeling nervous. But he had to admit, the chase _is_ thrilling. There's no way they're going to catch up with him.

He took a sharp turn and felt disappointed to see those black cars followed suit.

_Damn it, how am I going to lose them?_ He thought to himself.

A dozen of cars parked before him and he knew he faced a dead end. He hit the brakes and the car did a nice turn before stopping. He mentally congratulated himself.

"Oh well. Time to let out my smoke gun again," he said in a bored tone.

Men in black suits came out from those cars. All were holding a gun, facing him. Threatening to shoot.

_So this car got ahead of me. How many damn bodyguards does one woman need anyway?_ He thought irritably.

He stopped the car, breathing in the smoke slowly, before coming out.

"Hey, come on, give me a break!" he yelled out to them.

"Since when have Japanese been able to carry such big guns?"

They didn't look amused. But he grinned lightly.

"You got me. I'm part of this whole kidnapping incident. That means you got a lot of questions to ask."

From the corner of his eyes he could see some pulling the trigger.

Well, sayonara life. It was fun while it lasted.

"You won't shoot-"

His sentence was cut short as bullets went by. Hitting his arm, chest, legs. He felt numb, as if he can't move. Nor can he scream, although he wants to. Some missed and hit his red car instead, putting holes in them.

One hit his eye and all he thought before passing out was he should thank Mello for this excitement he hadn't felt in years, if he does survive.

The cigar in his mouth fell, coating a stain of ash on his vest.

Mail Jeevas has fallen.

Near watched the incident on TV. After receiving confirmation from Lidner that this is Mello's doing, he was horrified. For the first time he truly felt scared.

Right now they were showing a red Chevy car, being chased by three black sedans. Knowing Matt was inside the former, he hoped the brunet won't do anything stupid.

A barricade. Matt was facing a barricade right now and he went out of the car?

Near gripped his Optimus Prime tightly. Knuckles beginning to whiten as he did so.

"Don't come out you idiot, you're supposed to stay inside." He whispered furiously.

Gevanni and Rester sat in their chairs, all were holding their breaths. Waiting for any moves from Takada's bodyguards or Matt.

"_Hey, come on, give me a break__. __Since when have Japanese been able to carry such big guns?_"

Matt. Always the optimist. Near shook his head in disagreement as he gripped the toy harder.

"_You got me. I'm part of this whole kidnapping incident. That means you got a lot of questions to ask._"

Matt grinned wider before continuing. And Near felt his heart skipped a beat.

"_You won't shoot-_"

Too late. Shots were coming out at him. And he fell, like the toy soldiers that Near 'killed' during his playtimes.

Gevanni let out a sigh and Rester held his breath once more. Near however, fell silent. His head bowed down, messy curls of his hair covering his face.

_Matt, is this what you mean?_

Shore let out a sigh. Mello did it. He took Takada away, and now all he has to do was sit and wait for any orders the blond has to give.

But a car chase took his attention. Matt. He turned the volume louder, wanting to concentrate on what's happening, when his cellphone rang. He flipped it open, and was greeted by an angry voice.

"Shore!"

A. She must be watching the news right now. And she thought he was inside that car!

"Arc, sweetie, I'm fine."

"Don't tell me you're fine, I know you're fine, but what about Matt?!"

He gulped. She was freaking out. And now she was yelling at him like she never did before.

"He's, he's going to be fine."

"Shit. Shore, if Mello's going to make you do something that's almost close to suicide, I'm going to kill you."

"A, you don't have to-"

A gunshot. Matt was dead. He could hear her holding her breath before spilling out in anger.

"I'd fucking kill that blond."

He smiled in agony. At least something would go on just the way it was.

After threatening Takada to take off her clothes, Mello changed into a disguise too.

Not wanting to be recognized by L, or any of the Japanese police, he was dressed as a delivery man. A cap worn above his head, and his blond hair covering half of his face.

He put the box full of clothes away and stepped back to his truck. Glancing at the backseat Takada was still crying. Sheesh, woman.

He turned on the portable TV to find they were showing a caption of a bullet-ridden car and a bloody corpse of a man wearing striped shirt.

He felt his heart broke. He killed Matt. He wasn't supposed to die; it was supposed to be him!

_Matt, I'm sorry. I never wanted you to get killed_, he thought bitterly.

And now that he thought of it, there were more things he felt sorry about.

He was sorry he killed Matt.

He was sorry he hurt Roger.

He was sorry he refused Near's friendly attempts to make peace with him.

He was sorry he killed his mafia members.

He was sorry he didn't have a chance to kill Kira.

He was sorry he let L down.

And now he felt remorse for all his sins, and he felt bad. He was a sinner, and he begged to God that He'd forgive him.

He pulled the rosary close to him and prayed silently.

And Mihael Keehl watched twenty years of his life passed him by, as he felt his heart stopped beating.

Aftermath – January 26th 2011.

Shore wasn't a religious person, but he thanked God that A still accepted him with open arms. Although there was nothing wrong really, but he thought she was far too traumatized with Mello's actions, that she was afraid he's going to be taken away from her again.

Mello. Mihael Keehl. Hearing his real name from Near made him feel sad at times. The boy who had bravely stood up for him from those bullies when he was seven was gone.

And he left him his trust, and he's not going to fail him. He never did.

On January 28th he found a note, written to Near by Mello, presumably a day before the abduction. And he knew Mello wanted him to give it to Near, so he did. The look on the new L's face was fresh on his mind. Surprise and sorrow was etched on his usually blank face.

Perhaps knowing Mello expressed an apology made the young genius to be so out of character, but the angry blond was the same.

But Samuel shook his head off the thoughts as his beautiful fiancée enters the room, holding two cups of hot chocolate.

Near visited the cemetery often these days. It was the only thing he could do to show gratitude to his former rival and his friend.

Kira was dead. Light Yagami has been killed, by his own shinigami who wrote his name in the notebook a year ago. And the world began to turn to normal once more.

Near was now taking over as L. And he still felt like he didn't deserve it. He always see that it was supposed to be him and Mello. But now it's only half of it, and it's all he had.

Back then he was certain he could make Mello give up his attempts in rivaling him and just accept him with open arms. Now he felt foolish for thinking of it.

Mello died, and his plans were a blow to Kira's plans. And Near knew that Mello knew, he had worked with him after all.

Matt never deserved death. But he liked the thrill of being killed. He likes danger, and he faced danger and faced the consequences.

Near knows he wasn't as brave as Matt, or strong willed as Mello, but he'd never admit it to anyone.

Instead he'd just sit in silence in front of their graves, contemplating his thoughts in peace.

He wonders what it's like to be six feet under.


End file.
